Author Archives: toosexyforcontacts

inconvenienced much

Why buy the cow when you can tweet dick-pics to the milk for free?

in a smoke filled room

your painting is like a nightmare to me. I mean, the wolf looks cool; it’s what you did with the negative space around the wolf that terrorizes my dreams.

is it gonna get much better before it gets worse?

It’s never too early for an Irish drinking song. Or just drinking.

i respect myself and my grandma didn’t drive me all the way over here for this

don’t chase something you can never get back.

look into these eyes and tell me what you see

It’s no superpower but I’m pretty good at winding down the car window without moving my arm so it looks like I have power windows.

more than you bargained for

this conversation is over

get in line

I asked for silence, and silence I shall have!