Author Archives: toosexyforcontacts

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For my next miracle, I will turn water into funk

“Gangster rap made me do it.”
-my response for everything today

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Unable To Process

Cirque du Soleil, but it’s just me trying to take off my bra & tights.

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Tips For Taking Selfies With A Cat

we report, you decide!

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Passing For Human

First rule of fight club is to make sure you’re at the right location so you don’t ruin Nokomis’ knitting circle, again.

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your natural source of youth

I don’t want to watch the parade; I want to BE the parade!

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I’m pretty gangsta myself

Not really my scene.

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Unclear on the concept

How could you be so Dr.Evil? You’re bringing out a side of me that I don’t know