Author Archives: toosexyforcontacts

Now With Unlimited Femininity

Would the Virgin Mary’s sister be considered “the Auntie Christ”?

Do You Like To Party?

Does complaining count as protesting? Cause if so, I’m now a two-time winner of this Time Person of the Year thing.

In The Red

What can I say except, “you’re welcome?”

Fresh to Death

Sign Language is best utilized on billboards

master of none

Do not call me seven times in one day unless you’re dying and need someone to avenge your death

MY MIND HAS BEEN BLOWN

I am not the sort of woman you have over for tea and finger sandwiches. Unless they’re made with actual fingers.

I see digital people

GOIN DOWN FOR REAL