Monthly Archives: June 2017

How To Burlesque

I’ll never take for granted all the wonderful burlesque partners, husbands, SO’s, etc that step in to lend a hand without even a thought. Y’all are the real MVPs.

you make my dreams

Shrek taught us that you don’t have to be perfect to find a beautiful princess. He also taught us that popcorn is way fcuking overpriced

party girl it’s ok to hurt

i’m the one to call for a good time

gone with the wind

Idea: Real Housewives of the Arctic Circle- 5 Inuit women who dearly love each other sit in an igloo rendering whale fat and singing calmly.

i dont know what it means either

poised to be the final blowout that will take down the American financial system

I failed the Turing test

Guns don’t kill people. George R. R. Martin kills people.

not everything has to be funny

It may not be easy to be green, but me and you will never be blue!

inconvenienced much

Why buy the cow when you can tweet dick-pics to the milk for free?

in a smoke filled room

your painting is like a nightmare to me. I mean, the wolf looks cool; it’s what you did with the negative space around the wolf that terrorizes my dreams.

is it gonna get much better before it gets worse?

It’s never too early for an Irish drinking song. Or just drinking.