Monthly Archives: March 2017

I’ve been working like a dog

A hard day’s night

Existential Crisis Hotline

Who you gonna call?

we ship worldwide

Drunk girl at Denny’s just told me vaginas were invented when Wolverine was fingering Adam and got too excited. Now I believe in true love.

enter at your own risk

Sometimes I worry about the choices I’ve made in life, but other times I’m too busy fighting off the squirrels

damn right it’s better than yours

Autocorrect just changed “extreme” to “Xtreme” because it /knows/ i’m a douchebag.

Always Ready, Always There

Hey rich people! What’s it like having matching silverware?

Now With Unlimited Femininity

Would the Virgin Mary’s sister be considered “the Auntie Christ”?

Do You Like To Party?

Does complaining count as protesting? Cause if so, I’m now a two-time winner of this Time Person of the Year thing.

In The Red

What can I say except, “you’re welcome?”

Fresh to Death

Sign Language is best utilized on billboards