Monthly Archives: March 2017
A hard day’s night
Who you gonna call?
Drunk girl at Denny’s just told me vaginas were invented when Wolverine was fingering Adam and got too excited. Now I believe in true love.
Sometimes I worry about the choices I’ve made in life, but other times I’m too busy fighting off the squirrels
Autocorrect just changed “extreme” to “Xtreme” because it /knows/ i’m a douchebag.
Hey rich people! What’s it like having matching silverware?
Would the Virgin Mary’s sister be considered “the Auntie Christ”?
Does complaining count as protesting? Cause if so, I’m now a two-time winner of this Time Person of the Year thing.
What can I say except, “you’re welcome?”
Sign Language is best utilized on billboards