Monthly Archives: February 2017

What a time to be alive

sometimes i miss having an all night rage fest for no other reason than that my 8am class got canceled, then spending the rest of the day watching Disney movies, eating and sending apology texts.

I’m always keeping things like secrets and silent.

Some people think I am crazy. I think they need to quit touching my tin foil hat.

Look into these eyes and tell me what you see

Another beautiful day for despair!

You stay classy, San Diego

Too much life can be worse than a timely death.

Haters just can’t handle how real I am

I create passwords so secure that not even I can guess them.

do you have a rewards card?

“I put all those ingredients you told me to use inside of a tortilla” – how I would explain the dish I made to the food judges on “Chopped”

You say tomato, I say the revolt of the masses.

Some days, captcha is the only reason I know I’m human.

I can show you the world

I must dream about being a crocodile because I always wake up completely entangled in my covers like I went into a prolonged death roll.

To the left, to the left

Revenge is a dish best served cold. Or braised. I’ve enjoyed it baked too. Can’t go wrong with Fried Revenge. The point is I’m mad.

For my next miracle, I will turn water into funk

“Gangster rap made me do it.”
-my response for everything today