i know people are prolly tired of hearing my pontificate about, well, life, but i
have beaten death so many times now i
just cant stop myself
from asking the hard questions
Who are you?
Who were you?
What is love?
my answer? it’s
The gift of giving to yourself, whatever it is you want.
Taking good care.
Treating yourself like someone who is deserving of the things saved for special occasions, and can have them whenever they would like.
We need good sleep, and good food, and good loving
Being sovereign, responsible for tending to the life that is your own.
Giving yourself what you want.
Buying yourself new fancy thick lotion or beautiful underthings.
A trip to Thailand. A hot bath. Or both.
A week, or month, or year with no obligations [don’t roll on shabbos]
Going to the matinee, alone, to eat popcorn and get lost in another world.
The room with the window that lets in the sound of the ocean while you sleep, and wakes you to the feel of heat, to taste the salt in your mouth.
Suspending assumption and the belief that you ‘know’
Being willing to be woke and be surprised
The gift that was always wanted, but never received: Track it down. Find it now, and give it. Which is the gift of memory, and completion, and love.
When you thought you knew me less, you were full of questions.
When I’m not worried about saying the right response, I am more honest.
When I had cancer, I felt more present and less hesitant, more open, less guarded, and not attached to a particular outcome.
BELIEVE ME WHEN I URGE YOU TO
Seek & give amnesty. For what was done to survive. For what was done in trying to find the way. For forgetting dates and numbers. For never being on time. For not being able to make it work. For wanting what we want. For saying the wrong thing. For being human. For living.
Be delighted, ask questions
Desire to know more.
The truth. A clear no. A real yes.
A new beginning. Not the same as a second chance.
There is no going backwards.
This is where things now begin new.
Also, just FYI:
Allgemeinbildung (n.): everything that any adult capable of living independently can reasonably be expected to know
[poetry for lola, 1 of 69]