Monthly Archives: September 2010

Go to the Mattresses

Obviously, you have never attempted to move a mattress by yourself. Obviously, people like you hire people like me to do things such as this. It’s not that mattresses are inherently heavy…we’re talking issues of grip, balance, general awkwardness. Even with two people, the damn thing keeps collapsing on you. Mattresses don’t want to be […]

Revelations (6 of 7)

I know the dead. I have spoken their names.  They have pictures in their heads of what they want life to be like and they are in a hurry to get there.  It goes a little something like this: We are married.  We have a nice house in a safe (read: suburban white) neighborhood.  We […]

I’m taking you down to Chinatown

Or, “What I Learned On My Summer Vacation” At some point in your life you make such a monumental ass of yourself that you can’t escape the thought that perhaps you are a total idiot.  This summer, as I tried to navigate Beijing in my horribly flawed Mandarin, I felt this way more than once. […]