You will not make me feel bad about myself anymore.
I am ok with not having sex with strangers. I think it says something about the world today that feeling this way is considered abnormal. There’s no two ways about it, our society is f*cked, and I am choosing to no longer buy into a values system that in no way fashion or form jives with what I was taught from birth about right and wrong.
I like my body. In fact, I think it’s perfect and I don’t need some white, male advertiser who spends billions of dollars each year to give me a complex so I will be willing to shuck out $75 a pop for a 3oz jar of anti-wrinkle cream. I could probably live to be 70 years old and be perfectly fine with never using Botox, collagen or Liposuction. The way I look at it, I will have earned every one of those laugh lines, and what better way to show the world what a happy, blessed life I’ve led?
I have enough. Literally. I don’t need to buy another fancy toy, new ‘must-have’ fashion accessory or $5 Bargain DVD from Wal-Mart (despite what a good deal it may be!) I’m tired of hearing others complain about what they don’t have rather than focusing on what they do have.
I am not my name. I am not my job.
I forgive myself and all those trying to grow. I have wasted so much of my life to this point being angry, hostile and just plain vicious. I’m (trying) to let that go, and recognize that the present moment is my only point of power.
I refuse to buy into the idea that life is a struggle, something to be suffered through until meeting one’s horrible demise. Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death. When we live deeply, we do not fear death. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.
I don’t need your religion, so get off my lawn. I am at peace with my creator-can you say the same? True religion is real living; living with all one’s soul, with all one’s goodness and righteousness. Everyday, I pray. I pray for my loved ones, I pray for my enemies, and I pray for all the souls I haven’t encountered yet. I wish ten-fold for them what they wish for me, because in my short time on this Earth, I have learned that Karma is a bigger bitch than I have any right to be.
It’s taken me twenty-two years to figure out who I am, and I’m not going to change for anyone. I love my past. I love my present. I’m not ashamed of what I’ve had, and I’m not sad because I have it no longer.